Registry Etiquette

When it comes to creating a gift registry there are few simple principles such as what to register for and when to announce your gift registry that are important to know whether you are registering for a wedding, baby or birthday.

What Should I Register For?

What gifts you should add to your list is pretty much up to you. However, experts in etiquette advise that you create a list that includes a mix of low, moderate, and high-priced items. Remember that everyones budget is different; by having some low-priced items on your list, you're simply being sensitive to that fact.

As you choose specific items, you should include your significant other in your decisions. You're both going to be using most of the items, after all, so it makes sense to agree on patterns and colors. Especially when you're selecting appliances, it makes sense to consult with each other regarding features and technical details. Two heads truly are better than one!

Many items that people register for come in matching sets: towels, bed linens, nursery furnishings, and so on. The problem is that sets of items can be expensive. For example, a single place setting of formal china can be well over $100. Such gifts can be beyond the means of many of your guests. Furthermore, imagine yourselves receiving just one or two place settings of an item like formal china: Are you ready to buy yourselves the remaining six or seven place settings? (Of course, once your friends and family know what patterns or colors you've got, they can always give you more of the same on subsequent gift-giving occasions.) However, some experts say that at least some of what you request should be "stand-alone" items that are not part of a set.

Finally, think about what items you will actually use. Unless you have immense amounts of storage space, don't request things that you don't expect to at least use occasionally. Rarely used items will make your living space cluttered, cramped, and ultimately unusable.

What Price Ranges Should I Include?

When it comes to deciding how expensive your requested gifts should be, it's good manners to be sensitive to your friends' and family members' budgets. That means that at least some of the items you sign up for should be low or moderately priced. On the other hand, remember that there's no rule against several people pooling their money to buy one larger, more expensive item. The main thing is, it's best to give your invitees as many options as possible.

Keep in mind, too, that your friends and family won't be the only ones shopping from your registry. In the months following your event, you will probably want to use your own money to purchase items that you didn't receive. Since many merchants offer a discount on items included in a registry, you can save money by registering for things that you want, even if you expect to buy them for yourself later on.

How Many Items Should I Register For?

The answer to this question depends on what sort of event you're talking about. For example, the whole purpose of bridal showers and baby showers is to provide an opportunity for giving the guest of honor gifts? literally to "shower" her with presents. In those cases, whoever is hosting the party can certainly include registry information with the invitation to the party.

However, a wedding? or any other event for which gift-giving is not the main point? is a different matter. Etiquette experts say that it's the height of tackiness to include registry information with the wedding, bar mitzvah, or graduation party invitation. In this case, the best way to let people know where you're registered is by word of mouth. Those who receive invitations to your event will probably ask someone they know is close to you where you're registered. Your mother, other family members, and close friends can pass along your registry information.

It's not a good idea to register more than six months in advance of your event. Experts say that because retailers try to "turn over" their merchandise as quickly as possible, the item you register for today might well be out of stock nine months from now. Since most people you invite will wait until a few days before the event, it will help them give you what you want if the items you selected are certain to be in stock.

What If I Have Everything I Need?

Depending on what sort of event you'll be celebrating, you may think that there's nothing you really need. For example, many couples have lived together for some time and already have their home furnished. Or parents-to-be have kept everything they were given when an earlier child was born. If you see yourself in one of these examples, you should still seriously consider registering.

When you register, you'll probably be given a checklist of items to include in your registry. Even if you think you've got everything, that checklist might remind you of items you've overlooked. A registry can help you get items that you put off buying due to expense. Remember, your event is something that your friends and family will want to celebrate. Help yourself by letting them give you a token of their friendship!

Something else to consider is listing nontraditional gifts in your registry. For example, if you're getting married, you'll probably want to go on a honeymoon; let your friends and family help out by contributing a night's stay in the hotel of your choice or covering the cost of a fun side trip. If you're expecting a baby, celebrating a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, or some other major event in a child's life, those close to you might want to consider a contribution to an education fund.

How & When Should I Announce My Registry?

The answer to this question depends on what sort of event you're talking about. For example, the whole purpose of bridal showers and baby showers is to provide an opportunity for giving the guest of honor gifts? literally to "shower" her with presents. In those cases, whoever is hosting the party can certainly include registry information with the invitation to the party.

However, a wedding or any other event for which gift-giving is not the main point? is a different matter. Etiquette experts say that it's the height of tackiness to include registry information with the wedding, bar mitzvah, or graduation party invitation. In this case, the best way to let people know where you're registered is by word of mouth. Those who receive invitations to your event will probably ask someone they know is close to you where you're registered. Your mother, other family members, and close friends can pass along your registry information.

It's not a good idea to register more than six months in advance of your event. Experts say that because retailers try to "turn over" their merchandise as quickly as possible, the item you register for today might well be out of stock nine months from now. Since most people you invite will wait until a few days before the event, it will help them give you what you want if the items you selected are certain to be in stock.